I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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