her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
