I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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