I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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