Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
