we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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