Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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