You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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