I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
