absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
