I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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