I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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