You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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