Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize