so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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