hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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