She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.