My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
