lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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