If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
