Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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