morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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