I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I am one with the molecules
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
These tits shall not be calmed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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