You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
