as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
