I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
