we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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