I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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