so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize