3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
