Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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