I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
