going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
