I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
