do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
