his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
