I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
