So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
