i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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