Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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