was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
