It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
