I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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