I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
