I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
