Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
