I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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