i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
