wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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