Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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