Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
