As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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