she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
