suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My bed smells like the plague
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
