At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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