Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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