1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
