I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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