I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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