How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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