i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
