woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize