i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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