it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
