Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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