tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how does that bad decision feel?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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