I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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